Words

Because I believe that words have power, I think a lot about what I say to Linus. For many months I've said the same thing to Linus as I put him down for naps and night sleep. The words came spontaneously and remained unaltered for many months.

"You are sweet and smart and beautiful and funny. Mommy and Daddy love you. Grandma and Grandpa love you. You'll go to sleep and have sweet dreams and when you wake up, we'll have a wonderful afternoon/day."

I believe that the words he hears and the intent behind them will soak into his soul. I want him to have these words written on his heart, so he can carry them with him all his life. I believe it is my job as his mother to lay the foundations of self esteem and that, even this small speech, whispered lovingly into his ear every day, will help him.

To that effect, I started thinking about the words I was saying. I decided to amend two of my words. I decided that, while he is sweet, KIND is the word I'd like to steep him in. "You are kind" became the beginning of my sleepy time speech. Sweet is nice. It makes others smile. But- it feels more surface. Like a veneer of sugar. Kind is nice and makes others smile, but it can be revolutionary in a way that sweetness cannot. A small act of true kindness can change lives. I hope that Linus will have a kind spirit.

The other change I made was prompted by an article a friend shared on Facebook. I started to think about the implications of telling Linus that he his smart. The article made me think. It made me think about the fact that, here in Britain, babies and small children are most often praised for being clever.

Smart. Clever. At first glance, it might just seem to be one of the hundreds of instances where the two cultures have differing preferences for similar words. The more I thought about it, however, I came to believe that there's more to it than that. There is a deep-rooted difference in cultural attitudes in the US and the UK. The US is shiny and new. It is confident, loud and brash. It is full of people who would hold up flashing neon signs proclaiming that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. And increasingly, children who's parents are willing to spend all their time and energy holding up their signs for them. The UK is ancient and staid. It is self-deprecating and stoic. It's people love to complain, but are also famous for their ability to suck it up and quietly do what needs to be done without a show or expecting of praise. Their is even an unspoken mindset that is isn't done to be too striving or self-confident, or flashy.

I thought about the two words and how they are different. In some subtle way, they are each completely reflecting of their respective cultures. Smart is something that you are- without trying, without doing anything to earn. You are smart because you are smart. Your brain is uniquely, inherently superior. Clever, on the other hand, has a subtle implication of more than that. A clever person doesn't just know the answer. They are intelligent enough to work to figure it out. And I like that. I like the idea of instilling in Linus the confidence that he has the resources to figure things out. That he can work hard and exercise his beautiful mind. That his natural-born abilities are not all he has. He has the resourcefulness to reach beyond himself. Does that make sense? It may just be reading too much into a word, but it rings true with me.

And so, I decided to alter half of my words. I take no issue with the other two. Beautiful is exactly what he is. He is beautiful of body and spirit. His very creation is beautiful, regardless of the (admittedly stunning) package. And funny. He's just so, so funny. Which is important. Terribly important.

So I now tell him that he is: kind, clever, beautiful, funny. Because he is. And he always will be. And it's important that he knows it. And so I tell him.

Do you see a difference between smart and clever?
What words do you want to wrap your loved ones in?

I really think I mean it this time.

I've pulled out my laptop for the first time in months. It started up slowly, but seems to be kicking along fine now. (Well... fine for a 5 year old laptop!)
I've had a bit of bloggerblock lately. (I don't know if you noticed. The tale tell clue was the fact that I haven't written anything besides letters to Linus in MONTHS.) I know I've said before that I was going to get back on the horse, but I really think I mean it this time. More and more, these days, I'm finding myself thinking "Oh, that would make a good blog post!" I think that means I should get my butt in gear again.
I don't know how many readers I have any more between the demise of Reader and my radio silence, but I know my mom always enjoys when I post. (Hi Mom! Love you.)

I will share with you a new exciting thing in my life. Do you know about autoawesome? Ross and I just discovered it. Our phones automatically sync with Google+, so all of our pictures get uploaded automatically. The great thing is, Google Pictures (formerly Picasa) will take series of 5 or more pictures and automatically create gifs. It is awesome. Since gifs aren't easy to share on Facebook, we wanted an easy place to share them with friends and family. In case any of your are curious, you can follow our gifs (which are nearly all, unsurprisingly Linus-related) at www.awesomewag.blogspot.com

Mostly I just wanted to tell you about it so you could get your own awesome gifs.
Like this.

Happy Baby

Anyone still out there? How are y'all? What's new?

16 & 17 Months

Dear Line,
It has been a fun two months! You have really grown by leaps and bounds- physically and mentally (though I feel like I'm always saying that)! You are suddenly a BOY. I marvel at you and wonder where my baby has gone.
You are a master of movement. Running, climbing on everything, experimenting with jumping, and playing. It seems amazing that you have such sureness of self. You barrell forward towards whatever you want without any doubt of your ability. This doesn't always go well, but luckily you are also good at falling. :)

You are doing so well with sleep. You generally go down easily without any fuss and are getting awesome at self-soothing. You have a few things in the crib with you, but aren't particularly attached to anything special. Tonight when I checked on you, you'd thrown out all your toys and were cuddling a book. Silly boy! You generally have a nearly 2 hour nap after lunch. I'm loving having time to eat my lunch and do a few chores in peace.

Your eating is pretty good. You definitely know what you like and aren't afraid to let us know. Usually what you want is whatever your Dad is eating. It never fails! You love pickles, olives, cottage cheese, tomatoes, and all fruit. You randomly have stopped liking yogurt in the last couple of weeks. So bizarre. Thankfully, we finally figured out the milk situation. Goat's milk for the win!

As far as communication, you are rocking it. You say some words, sign others, and a few select you say and sign. You say and sign: all done, bye, duck/quack, and bath. You sign: more, chicken,  and food. You say: hat, book, ball, button (baba), cheese, shoes, moo, baa. You are working on Grandma and Grandpa. You rarely say Dada. Mama is even more rare. Usually only when you are insisting that I eat something you are trying to feed me. We're getting there though. Right? Right. You understand way more than that. You love to look at your picture book and point to different things that I name. It's really cool to watch you learn new words every day.

You and Daddy still dig each other the most. You love to climb up and sit next to him. You have taken to kissing his feet recently. We're not sure where that came from or what it's about, but it's cute and funny. You are also enjoying getting The Yickers. It's a thing from Daddy's family where you get tickled on the thigh. Mommy hates them, but I'm glad you find them amusing.

Sweet baby, you are the light of my days. You make me laugh and smile. You are just the best.
Love you so, so much,
Mommy

Ps. I couldn't find my converter for my laptop power cord, so I am typing this on the Tab. It's too hard to add pictures on this so I'll add them later. Once I find the converter. I would wait to publish, but Grandma gets very antsy.

14 & 15 Months

Dear Chicken Bean,

Well hello there, my sweet boy. I've had to combine the last two months because I never got around to your 14 month letter. I've been busy helping daddy with work in the evenings. I'm going to try to get back on the blogging wagon (I know... I've said it before. This time, I think I mean it.)

So much has happened in the last two months! I feel like I'm always saying this, but you've made some huge developmental leaps. I look at you and wonder what happened to my baby. You are so grown up! You really are a toddler now. (Though you'll always be my sweet baby!) You are a master walker now. You are super-fast and have pretty good balance. You rarely crawl these days. It's all go, go, go. You have several words now. You're favorite is "down" because you always want to get down and walk around. To make things difficult, you won't hold hands. Never have. That means that there are often times when you want "down", but it just isn't safe. I think we'll be getting a kiddie leash before long (even though I always swore they were silly before).

Your other words are: round (asking us to do the rhyme "Round and Round the Garden"), again, row (asking for "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"), all done, shoes, outside, down
You sign for: bath, food, more, water, all done, duck (very rare), sleep, milk
You make noises for these animals: zebra, lion, duck, monkey, fish (not consistently)

You understand a whole lot more and add new things every day. I'm constantly amazed by things you comprehend. It is so much fun watching you grown and learn. Daddy and I think you are a genius, you know.

We had a wonderful visit with Grandma and Grandpa mid-May. It was too short, but we are excited that we'll see them again in a couple of weeks. You were a bit shy and were finally warming up just when it was time for them to go. I'm so sad we don't get to spend more time together, but I'm grateful for any time we get. Grandma & Grandpa has a grand time following you around and loved watching you gobble up your food.

You're mostly and excellent eater- though you definitely have favorite foods: tomatoes, cheese, most fruit, & sweet potatoes. You aren't a fan of fish these days, but I keep trying. I'm making some progress on getting you to drink cow's milk. You'll drink it happily as long as it's mixed with some fruit smoothie. I'm planning to gradually increase the milk/smoothie ratio until you're ok with plain milk. You still have breastmilk first thing in the morning and just before bed, but I think we're getting closer to being done. You don't really drink much at night anymore, so I think that will drop pretty soon.

Your sleep is awesome. You sleep through the night and have (almost always) just one nap, which you go down for without trouble. Even better, if we're out and about you'll nap in the stroller. I love that you are flexible and don't get too out-of-sorts if we don't stick to a strict schedule.

You are a bit clingy and often times only Daddy will do. He mostly doesn't mind, except when his back hurts from carrying you for too long. You have a great mix of tender loving cuddly-ness and fierce independence. I love that. It makes me feel like you are secure in our love for you- which, let's face it, is IMMENSE.

My darling boy, you are so much fun and so, so wonderful. I almost can't stand it. I'm brought to tears on a daily basis by how amazing I think you are.
Love, love, love you,
Mommy

13 months

Dear Sweet Bean of Love,

You are 13 months old! I was telling someone how old you were the other day and I couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that you are more than a year old already. You have had quite the month! It's been a little crazy. You kicked off the month by going spectacularly off your schedule and have only just gotten back on track. I am certainly breathing a sigh of relief that you are back on track. I don't like seeing you out of sorts.

It all started when we gave you cow's milk for the first time the day after your birthday. You seemed to really like it and drank it up well, but the next day you were horribly sick and couldn't keep anything down! You'd never been sick before and it was very upsetting to us to see you vomiting. Poor baby! You were pretty miserable for a few days after, not eating much and nursing a lot more.

I've been saying for ages that I'm happy to breastfeed as long as you want, but that hopefully you'd be ready to be done by about 18 months. I'm not going to lie, I started to feel a bit like you were never going to be done! It was hard for me to feel like I'd lost ground when you added nursing sessions back. I also saw cow's milk as a natural transition. After your first try you started refusing it and that made me panic about not having something to replace breast milk with. Yikes! By the end of the month you actually finally dropped to nursing just after waking up and again before bed. What a relief! I'm happy with that schedule for a while. You still won't have milk, but you are getting plenty of dairy with yogurt and cheese.

You are really taking off walking now. You are so steady standing still that it amazes us. You have also figured out how to climb on the couch and it is your favorite place. You took a few days to figure out being safe on the couch, but now you can scramble up and down like a champ. We really need to get you some shoes so you can try your walking when we're out and about. It also might get you to keep your socks on. You love to take them off and show off your bare toes.

You are so funny! You are really learning so much about playing and interacting. You still love to play peek-a-boo. You play it in the bath and even on Skype with Grandma and Grandpa. It's pretty adorable.  You are also playing with your toys more and differently. It's neat to watch you try different things and figure out how things work. Your daddy and I might be biased, but we think you are very smart!

Oh how we love you my little baby!
Mommy