Mo' Money Mo' Problems Part 3: Market Slang

One of the best parts of being married to Ross is all of the random knowledge he has.
His dad was originally from London and was a born salesman with a larger-than-life feel, much like market traders of the olden days.

Old Timey Market

Because of that, Ross knows all kinds of cockney rhyming slang.  Now some rhyming slang is used commonly in England, but some is very unusual nowadays.  Interestingly, the people who use rhyming slang these days often don't even know the origin of the things they say.

I find rhyming slang endlessly fascinating, so I thought I'd take you through some of the ways it is used when talking about money.  Now it can be pretty confusing, so I'm going to try to walk you through the logic of it.  Here's an example:

 A £5 note can be called a "fiver".
Fiver (pronounced "fi-vah") rhymes with Godiva.
Lady Godiva.  The way rhyming slang works, you generally drop the word that actually rhymes and only use the part that doesn't.
A £5 note is a Lady.

And now, my absolute favourite bit of rhyming slang:
A commodore is £15.
Why?

Because it's 3 times a "Lady"!

A penny is known as a "clod".  Clod hopper.  Pennies are made of copper!

Ross says his dad would say that something was "not worth a clod".

Now, complicating things even further, the rules aren't set in stone.

Like sometimes the rhyming word doesn't get dropped:

A "cock and hen" is £10.

And then there are some names that have no known rhyme.  They are simply a type of code name for no known reason:

A pound has lots of names a "quid", "squid", "nicker" (pronounced nick-ah), "sovs" (short for sovereigns), "funt" (a derivative of the Yiddish/German word for pound)

A "score" is £20.

A "pony" is £25.  

A "monkey" is £500.

Now money in general has a few names as well:

Greens (because back when pounds were on paper they were green)

Readies (ready money, having cash on hand)

Now why all this weird talkin'?  I mean it's fun and all, but it seems like a lot of trouble....

Well no one really knows, but the theory is that the men who worked the market stalls used it to talk to each other so that the customers couldn't understand them.

Maybe we'll use it in front of our kids.  My grandparents spoke French in front of my dad and his siblings growing up in New Orleans.

Nah, I bet Ross would rather teach them and pass along the knowledge :)

Mo' Money Mo' Problems Part 2: Old Timey Money

What the heck is this song even about?

Recently, loyal reader Wiley requested an explanation of what exactly "tuppence" is.  Old timey British money always sounds really cool to me: farthing, tuppence, ha'penny, sixpence, shillings, guinea, crowns.  I always imagine Dick VanDyke saying the words in the world's worst "British" accent.

Prior to February 15, 1971 British money was much more dissimilar to American money.  A pound was made up of 240 pence.  This certainly makes the use of a sixpence coin more understandable- as 240 is divisible by 6. A pound was made up of 20 shillings and a shilling was made up of 12 pennies.  A penny was subdivided even further.  A penny was made up of 2 ha'pennies or 4 farthings.  Tuppence specifically applies to a quantity of 2 of these pre-decimal pennies, though some people still use it with current decimal pennies.'

A guinea is an interesting amount of money.  It was 1 pound and 1 shilling.  It was considered a "gentlemanly" amount and was used to pay artisans for their wares.  Sort of like a built in tip or commission.  It's still used today for buying and selling race horses.

Fun/Slightly Weird Fact:

Tuppence and ha'penny are also slang for a young girls private parts.

Old timey mothers and governesses might caution their wards to "Keep your hand on your ha'penny."

This means that they should guard their virtue.  They might find themselves "expensively" involved if they don't...

So does that clear things up?

Any other reader requests?

Stay tuned for Part 3 of this series where I'll talk about cockney rhyming slang and money. Fun!

Mo' Money Mo' Problems Part 1

In this post, I'm going to talk about British money that is currently in circulation.
Elizabeth (and the rest of you curious readers) can hold your breath to hear about old timey money in my next post in this mini-series.

British money is so much prettier than American money.  Fun colors!  Scrolly font!  Tiaras!
I'm just now getting the hang of it.
Ross is always telling me how much easier it is and I can see his point, but it's all about what you're used to, right?

Let's start with the bills:

British Bills

See how the bills get larger depending on their worth.  It's very handy... and much easier for blind people.   They don't have to rely on the honesty of banks and shopkeepers!  There is also a £50 note, but it is not frequently used.  

Now come the coins:

British Coins

Top row (L-R): One Pence, Two Pence, Five Pence, Ten Pence

Bottom row (L-R): Twenty Pence, Fifty Pence, One Pound, Two Pound

Pence are commonly referred to as "P".  As in, "Honey, do you have 50p for the parking meter?"

Notice how they're sort of in sets of 2, with one big and one small of each style.  The bigger one is worth more.  The hardest one for me was the 5p, as it's the same size, color, and shape as a US dime.

So that's an overview of British currency.  Do you think it looks easier or harder than American money?