Baby Led Weaning

We are pretty healthy eaters around here. That is mostly thanks to Ross.  He is a vegaquarian or a pescaterian (or whatever silly word you want to call someone who doesn't eat meat or chicken) so that means that's how we eat. It's certainly not that I'm not allowed to eat meat at home- sometimes I do- but it's just easier to cook the same thing for both of us. I can't tell you how much my diet has improved since meeting Ross! We keep making changes to find healthier options. Ross even made some major sugar changes recently. He's definitely better than I am, but we're both committed to eating less processed and more natural foods.

It only made sense, then, when we thought about starting Linus on solids that we would explore the options. I'd read on many blogs and learned from our Health Visitor that the World Health Organization recommends that babies be exclusively breast fed for the first 6 months. I also kept reading about something called Baby Led Weaning. It really made sense to me to skip the purees altogether and go straight to actual food.

We started Linus slightly after he reached 6 months. He was ready. He could sit up well and was showing interest in food. So we ordered a high chair.

First time in his new high chair.

It hasn't always been smooth sailing. Linus' first food was courgettezucchini. I over-steamed it slightly so it didn't hold up that well to chubby baby hands.

Next was sweet potato. Which I slightly under-steamed, making it too tough for him really chew.

We learned that grapes, bananas, and avocado work much better when put in a mesh feeder bag.

And that this face can mean new flavour, not necessarily bad flavour.

Yoghurt face is super-cute.

Who knew babies could like lettuce?

Cheese omlettes are a big hit! So are avocados, fresh mozzarella, pears and yoghurt.

Funnily enough, though some people might view doing BLW as "weird" or fringe, all 3 of my favorite mom friends are doing BLW too. We didn't plan it, but it made sense to all of us and seems to be working well!

Have you tried any new or "weird" parenting techniques?

Any suggestions of new foods I should try?

Birth Story Part 6

Catch up: Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

So Not-Jac told me that, while I couldn't have an epidural, I could have something else. Remifentanil. She briefly explained what Remi was and gave us a sheet of facts. It wasn't a pain management option I'd heard about at all prior to that moment, which surprised me given all my research. I've since learned that they only give Remi when a patient can't have an epidural.

We agreed to the Remi, which would be self-administered via a pump. They got another cannula put in my hand (this time in a very awkward place, right where my wrist bent) and got me all hooked up. The nice student midwife helped me put my hair in a ponytail. I tried to do it myself, but the IVs made it impossible to manoeuvre. It was a small act, but still sticks with me as a reassuring, and sweet moment from my labour.

the Remi port the day after giving birth

(Overall, despite minor annoyances, the midwives we dealt with were really good. They were calm and competent. In all honesty, I was so focused that I don't remember a great deal about them- but I think that must be a good thing. It means they let me get on with it and provided support when needed, just like they should!)

After the pump contraption was all set up and the port was in, Not-Jac explained that I would have to push a button to administer a dose. I could choose when to release a dose, but there was a time limit on how frequently I could push the button. She explained that I'd need to learn how to time it with the contractions for maximum effect and suggested pushing the button as each contraction started. She then held out the button to me. I remember a look in her eye as she made me reach out for the button and take it, rather than just handing it to me. It was a final moment of "you must choose this". I'm not sure how much that memory is based in reality. I grabbed the controller and, as Ross put it, "pushed the button like I was blowing up China". Nearly immediately, I felt the relief flood my body.

From there, time gets REALLY fuzzy. It was about 4 in the morning, I think. My world narrowed to just me, the button, and anything happening within about a foot of me. Even Ross is quiet blurry in my memory from this point. I was frequently aware of (and very grateful for) his presence, but was so "in" the labour that I don't think I interacted much with him. I know he kept calm by emailing updates to people and cleaning up the ice that we'd brought that had now melted. (Our freezer bag was leaking and he had visions of midwives slipping in a puddle on their way to render aid to the baby with the machine that was next to him. He was meticulous in cleaning it up. In the end, distraction was the only thing that ice was good for.)

Labour continued on unremarkably from this point. (There was one point where Ross overheard the midwives with scraps of "obviously in distress... baby isn't doing well... I don't want to be the one to tell her..." I didn't hear any of this (Thank God!!), but Ross was understandably freaking out. He called over the the midwives, who were on the other side of the room, and asked if everything was ok. They seemed confused why he was asking and replied "Of course" and that "if anything were wrong they'd tell us". Apparently they were discussing someone else! Ross told them that it would be nice to be told that everything was ok from time to time. My poor honey! I've said it before, but I don't envy the husband during labour. It's a tough job!) At some point, our midwives had a break and someone else came in to cover for a while. Then our original midwives went off their shift and someone new took over. She was a young midwife and I don't remember much about her, other than that she was nice. For some reason, I was giving a nose thingie to give me oxygen. I threw up a couple of times.

The next thing I really remember is when things go exciting. I started to feel that things were HAPPENING. I noticed the midwives moving into action. I overheard someone tell someone else that I'd be starting to push soon. I informed them that it was happening NOW. I felt an uncontrollable need to push and that wasn't any stopping it. Someone pointed out that the Remi had run out. My first reaction was that I needed more, but that didn't happen. I decided that I could make it for the last bit med-free. I am so happy with that decision. Because it's such a fast in/out drug, I was able to be really present for the pushing and birth. It was much closer to the birth I'd wanted than I thought I'd be getting!

All in all, I think I pushed maybe 5 times. It didn't take much more than about 15 minutes. When I got to the point of the "ring of fire", I followed the advice of my midwife and panted, rather than pushing. Man, that sucked. In the last few moments of pushing I remember thinking that I could feel the baby's nose squishing against me and jokingly mentally cursing that sweet little nose. And then, I pushed and I felt the most massive relief in my life. Linus shot out between my legs and I felt the umbilical cord follow suit. It felt like a hose unravelling, complete with "bdd-dd-d-ddddd" sound effects. It seemed impossibly long in the moment.

Ross was at my side as we saw our son come into the world. He looked so huge to me. He was slightly purple (which I'd been prepared for), but perfect. He had lots of hair. The midwife quickly wiped him a bit and then placed him on my chest for skin-to-skin. He scored 9s on both of his APGAR ratings. It was 8:25AM on March 1, 2012.

Linus' first picture

Birth Story Part 5

Is anyone surprised this birth story is taking me so long to get through?  You shouldn't be... I mean, remember my Wedding Recaps?!  (I told you I could rabbit on!)

So, when we left off, I knew my intervention-free birth was going out the window.  The midwives inserted a cannula into the back of my right hand.  It had two ports, one to administer antibiotics and on for the Sintocin.  In no time I was all hooked up and ready to get things going.  I steeled myself for the increase in pain, but I was pretty worn out by this point.

The Sintocin did it's job and very quickly my contractions got closer together and more intense.  I started to struggle.  Being unable to move around and the sheer exhaustion were really getting to me.  The midwives were frustrated that they had trouble keeping the baby's heartbeat tracked on the monitor I was wearing and kept re-adjusting it.  After a couple of hours they said that they wanted to up my dose of Sintocin because I still wasn't far enough along for their liking.  At this point, I cracked.  I said, "If you want to up the dose, I'd like to talk to someone about an epidural".  They were words I'd been aiming to avoid.  I didn't want to have one, but I knew I'd reached my breaking point.  If I'd been able to move around or be in the water, or if I hadn't been in labour so long things might have been different.  But that's what happened I asked for the epidural.

Time went on and I assumed that the anaesthetist was coming.  The midwife said they needed to up the dose again and I said, "What's happening with the epidural?"  She said "Oh, did you want one?"  I was so shocked.  I was in disbelief that I'd asked about one a full hour before and she hadn't called for a doctor!  I've heard since then, that they will often really make you work for one and be firm that you really want it in an effort to help you avoid one if they know you hadn't wanted an epidural.  So I guess I can appreciate that she was trying to give me the birth I had wanted, but at the time I was not a happy camper.  I think Ross was even more irritated than I was.  (I think being the husband during birth has to be one of the hardest things ever.  They don't get enough credit for sitting there watching their wives in pain, unable to really DO anything.  Sure they can do some things, but there's not a lot to do except wait and be supportive- while trying to keep calm and positive.  When things weren't going as smoothly as we would have liked, I can't imagine how stressful it was for him.)  I affirmed that yes I wanted the epidural and would like her to hold off on upping my dose of Sintocin again until after I'd had some pain relief.

Not long thereafter, an anaesthetist came into the room.  The was a young-ish woman and in my mind she was Jac Naylor (a character on a hospital show here.  She's known for her no-nonsense attitude and all-business approach to medicine).  I knew, even in the moment, that she really looked nothing like the actress, but I still decided that she was my own personal Jac.

Jac

She was very calm and cool.  I remember appreciating how she spoke to me (like a normal person, instead of like a woman in labor).  She politely said that she'd heard I was interested in an epidural.  By this point, it had been nearly 36 hours since my waters had broken.  She informed me in a very straight-forward manner that I wasn't eligible for an epidural.  I was crushed.  My mouth hung open.  I already felt a bit like I'd failed in even asking for one, but once I'd given in and asked for one I hadn't had any question in my mind that I'd be getting one and that relief was imminent.  I think I almost cried when I asked "Why?!?!"  She explained that, because my waters had been broken for so long and I'd spiked a fever there was a chance that I could be paralysed if they went messing with my spine.  Well that, seemed a good enough reason....  I thought after hearing this news that the next bit she would say was "So, you'll just have to keep going... no pain relief for you."  I felt defeated and tired.  Luckily, I was wrong... Not-Jac wasn't going to let me down.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Word of the Week

bogeybooger

...but it's snot.

Definition: the colloquial term for dried nasal mucus 

Used in a sentence:  I've got a cold right now, so I'm very pretty with a nose full of bogeyboogers.

Fire Fire!

Yesterday at Tummies and Tinies (the mommy group that I go to on Wednesday mornings) they had a Fire Safety Officer (FSO) there to talk to us about... well... fire safety.  I think we would have all preferred to be left to our own devices and had a nice chat while we played with our kids, but we dutifully listened to the woman's presentation.

Babies Everywhere!

(A different day at Tummies and Tinies)

She went over basic fire safety topics and told us about the top fire hazards in the home.  I can't say that I learned anything earth-shattering, but it's nice to have a refresher on safety issues from time to time- especially now that there's a baby in the house, we want to be on top of things!  

At one point in her talk, the woman told us about a woman who's young daughter's nightgown caught on fire.  She said that the woman had picked up her daughter and run with her to the bathroom, put her in the tub and run the water over her to put the fire out.  The daughter ended up with burns on over 50% of her body.  The FSO asked what the mother should have done instead.  There was a brief pause in the room.  You know the kind.  When a room full of only semi-interested adults are waiting to see if someone else will call out the answer.  

I proudly called out "Stop, drop, and roll!"  The FSO looked at me with vague surprise in her eyes and said "Yes.  That's right."  The other mothers turned to look at me with interest on their faces.  I queried, "Do they not teach that here?"  The FSO explained that they teach the concept of smothering the fire, but not the key phase of "Stop, drop, and roll" that is so ubiquitous in childhood safety education in The States.  One of my friends said that she'd forgotten that was what you should do, but confirmed that she had been taught it in the past.  She was impressed with my little catch phrase and softly repeated it to herself saying "I'm going to use that!"  I thought it was so funny that something so ingrained in me was totally novel to this room full of people!  

It reminds me, yet again, of all those tiny little differences between cultures.  The sayings that aren't common to both societies.  Like in America it's "Buckle up for safety", whilst in the UK it's "Clunk, click, every trip".  It still happens every once in a while that Ross or I will say something and the other will be baffled as to what they mean.  It keeps things fresh. ;)

As a fire related sidenote:  At the music group that we go to on Tuesdays we sing different nursery rhyme songs.  Most of them are familiar to me, but the first week one came along that I'd never heard before.  It goes:

London's burning.  London's burning.

Fetch the engines.  Fetch the engines.

Fire, fire!  Fire, fire!

Pour on water.  Pour on water.

The group's leader could tell that I didn't know the song by the look on my face and said that I'd have to bring in an "American" nursery rhyme to teach the group.  I still haven't been able to think of any that don't have UK roots.  Isn't it funny that nursery rhymes are all so old and no new ones have really caught on?

What catch phrases do you know that don't occur in both cultures?

Do you know any "American" nursery rhymes?

Birth Story Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Wednesday February 29, 2012

They wheeled me into the Labour Ward and I started to get settled in.  I changed out of my clothes and into a long blue maternity t-shirt.  I find it really interesting that they don't provide gowns to labouring moms in the UK.  It's up to you to bring whatever you want to wear during labour.  I was really comfortable in my t-shirt because it was a good mix of allowing me to move freely while still keeping me covered up.  At this point, I was moving around to cope with the pain- sitting on the ball or leaning against the bed.

I met the midwife and student midwife who would be with us for the majority of the labour.  The main midwife was fine, but a bit chirpy and flighty (she irritated Ross more than me, but because I was so focused on managing the pain I didn't notice).  The student was great- very calming and supportive.  I don't remember their names (or the names of any other midwives who helped us... it's just all a blur!) even though they were with us for hours and hours.

They wanted to monitor the baby's heart rate, so hooked me up.  For a while they let me keep moving around, but they found that they kept losing the baby's heartbeat, so made me lie down in the bed.  I'd been warned ahead of time that laying in the bed was the worst position for labour and I definitely found that to be true.  It was instantly harder to cope with the contractions.  I remember being really irritated that I couldn't move around any more, but continued with my technique of going zen and focusing through each contraction.

They examined me again and found that I had progressed a bit, but not as much as hoped.  In came, a very chirpy young woman doctor who talked to me about Syntocin (similar to Pitocin).  They wanted to administer it to help speed things up.  Ross and I tried to argue that things were progressing on their own (albeit more slowly than expected) and that my being stuck in the bed wasn't helping matters.  The doctor made a comment that I "obviously wasn't truly in labour because I wasn't distressed enough".  Ross could tell I was about to show her distressed and interjected that my way of coping with the contractions was a quiet one and so if she was looking for yelling or hysterics she was out of luck.  I could tell she didn't believe him and I wanted to smack her cheerful, patronizing face.  It was so irritating to basically be told that I was coping with labour too well.

Ross and I took a few moments to discuss our options.  I was so torn because I badly wanted to have an intervention-free birth, but I was also worried about complications.  The doctor explained that we had the option to be sent back home and allowed to labour on our own as long as I didn't have a rise in my temperature.  I looked at Ross with the question in my eyes.  I felt awful, but I couldn't imagine going back home and continuing on at this pace.  We were still in the midst of discussions, but were leaning towards allowing the intervention when the doctor made an announcement.  I had developed a small fever.  The decision was out of our hands, we needed to get labour going!

They gave me a cannula with two ports in it- one for antibiotics and one for fluids. It was just before midnight and I knew we'd be having a March 1st baby.

British Drama in The States

I have a confession.

Come closer.

*gulp*  I've never seen Downton Abbey. [cue gasp]

Who doesn't love a period drama?!

With the Downton Abbey craze sweeping the US, I'm embarrassed to admit that I've never watched it.  Tons of my US friends are raving about it on Facebook and it feels wrong that I live in the UK and haven't seen it.  Don't get me wrong.  It sounds really good.  It's right up my alley and people I like and who's taste I respect have said it's awesome.  I just sort of missed it when it started.  I have a hard time figuring out scheduling of British television and just never got on board when it started.  And I refuse to start a series in the middle.  I mean, a sitcom is one thing, but a series drama requires investment and background.  If you miss the beginning, you miss out on all the little nuances and story threads that are hinted at and woven together over time.  So I refuse to watch until I can start from the beginning.  I'll get around to it.

Though, I have missed Downton, I can give you a heads up on another British Drama that is headed to the US via PBS this fall.

Call the Midwife

Call the Midwife aired while I was pregnant, so I was really interested to watch it.  It follows a group of midwives and nuns who are charged with caring for the women in the east end of London during the 1950s. The main character was actually the least compelling figure, in my opinion, but the show is based on her memoirs.  The supporting cast and the look at the public health conditions of the time are really fascinating.  Especially good is comedian Miranda Hart as an awkward midwife named Chummy.  She was nominated for a TV BAFTA (the equivalent of an Emmy) for Supporting Actress and I found her performance really compelling.

This show really gives a great look at how far the practice of childbirth has come and could spark some great discussions.  Issues of abuse, miscarriage, forced adoption, and post-partum depression are all covered in thoughtful and interesting manner.  The relationships between the midwives and their charges makes for a good watch.  If you're into British stuff, baby/childbirth stuff, public health stuff, 1950's stuff, and human drama I say it's certainly worth a watch!

CALL THE MIDWIFE, Sundays, September 30 to November 4, 2012, 8:00-9:00 p.m. ET– Based on the best-selling trilogy by the late Jennifer Worth, CALL THE MIDWIFE is a fascinating portrayal of birth, life and death in a world drastically different from ours. This six-part series offers an unconventional twist to Sunday-night British dramas and brings mid-20^th-century London to life, focusing on the joys and hardships of a group of midwives working in London’s East End. 

Birth Story Part 3

Part 1
Part 2

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Ross and I arrived back at North Manchester General Hospital (still known locally as Crumpsall) at around 4:30PM, 24 hours after my waters had broken.  We made our way to the Antenatal Ward to check in and get assessed.  They walked us into a large room that contained four curtained cubicles, each containing a hospital bed, nightstand and chair.  The curtains between bays were open at the time and I remember a woman across the way was moaning loudly through her contractions.  A midwife pulled our curtain closed and check me out.  I was not quite 3cm and mostly effaced.  My contractions were still slightly irregular so they encouraged us to do some walking to see if we could speed things along.

And walk we did.  We roamed the halls and walked up and down stairs.  Any time I had a contraction, I stopped and breathed through it.  I was still coping pretty well, but was starting to get anxious that things weren't further along.  I remember laughing and joking with Ross during this period which was a great way to keep my cool and manage the pain.  My contractions were getting closer together and stronger, so we knew things were going in the right direction.  We headed back to the Antenatal Ward and the midwife checked me out again.  I was now completely effaced and a good 3cm.  At this point, Ross got on his phone and googled some ways to speed up labor.  I snacked on some fruit and cheese that we'd brought with us and Ross used pressure points on my hand and foot to try and move things along even more.  I think it actually worked because before long we were off to the Birth Centre.

(Tangent: Now, I didn't blog about it, but I raised a pretty big stink about being allowed on the Birth Centre.  My pre-pregnancy BMI was ever-so-slightly too high for me to be officially allowed.  I wasn't told this until about halfway through my 3rd trimester.  I was really upset given that I had been told all along that my health was "perfect" and that I was an excellent candidate for the Birth Centre.  I used the fact that I hadn't really gained any weight during the pregnancy and a sternly worded letter to get my way.  From the moment I got approval, it became my fear that I would end up not being able to hack it on the Birth Centre and would be begging for an epidural.)

We got to the Birth Centre at around 8PM and were shown into one of the mack-daddy birthing rooms with the giant birthing tub and twinkly ceiling.

Mid-contraction in the Birth Centre

Twinkly ceiling and tub on the left

The midwife on duty talked to us a bit and told me that I wouldn't be able to go in the birth tub due to risk of infection since my waters broke more than 24 hours previously.  It was at this point that I remember snapping at Ross to stop rubbing a spot on my lower back because it felt like he was rubbing it raw.  (In the days after the birth, I had a huge patch of really dry skin in that same spot, so I guess I was right!)  I'm glad to say that it was the only slightly unpleasant moment in our interactions.  I certainly never experienced any animosity or movie-style "You did this to me!" anger.  I mostly remember thinking how awesome he was and how much I love him.  I do remember getting irritated that the midwives would stop talking to me when I went into my zen place for contractions.  I told Ross to tell them to keep talking to me through them if they had something to say, as I found it distracting to have them awkwardly waiting for my contraction to stop before resuming the conversation.  

The midwife examined me and said, with regret, that I was still just around 3cm and that I really needed to be on the Labour Ward.  Given the fact that I wasn't going to be able to labour in the water anyway, I wasn't too distressed by this.  The midwives were really great and tried so hard to give us the birth experience that we really wanted, but it just wasn't to be.  

I had prepared going into the birth to be flexible.  I knew that if I was rigid and uptight about how things "had to go" I would only be in for disappointment.  After all, the process of giving birth isn't one that we can control.  I figured that I could certainly have a Plan A, but that if need be I was prepared to abandon it and go with whatever needed to happen.  To that end, I never developed a formal birth plan.  I'd discussed with Ross that my plan was:  "I want to have zero interventions that the baby and I do not need and any interventions that we do", but that was it.  Nothing formal or written, just an understanding between me and my husband.  This is one of the most important preparations I think that I made.  Once it became clear that I wasn't progressing quickly enough, I was ready to change course.  I didn't spend my time regretting that things weren't going as planned or fretting about the loss of control.  I knew that I could trust Ross to help me advocate for as little intervention as possible and that we'd do whatever we needed to to get our baby out safely.  In fact, as the labour went on, I found that the midwives were still apologizing that things weren't going as I planned, when I had totally moved on and was over it.  

And with that, we gathered our things and they put me in a wheelchair to ferry me to the Labour Ward.  I was still coping well, but it clear that we weren't getting our baby any time soon and that our Leap Day baby was unlikely.

Feeding him myself

I am breastfeeding Linus.  (Right this second actually.  I'm getting pretty good at one-handed typing!)  I've noticed, however, that people here in the UK don't ask if I'm breastfeeding.  When it's come up, they've all asked if I'm "feeding him myself".  I'm not sure if it's a cultural difference or just a coincidence that all of the women have worded it that way.  Most of them were a bit older than me, so perhaps it's a hesitance to use the word "breast".  All of them have praised me for my perseverance and most didn't breastfeed their own children.  I know that breastfeeding is less common in the UK.  There is a big push to get more women to do it, but I think they've only had limited success.  I've seen a few specials on TV that were aimed at spreading the word about the benefits of breastfeeding, but frankly they did the effort no favours by featuring the weirdo militant moms who were still breastfeeding 6 year olds.

Passed out after a good feed.

I knew from the beginning that I intended to breastfeed.  It just made sense to me.  There are all sorts of health benefits for both mom and baby.  And it seems so much easier.  You don't have to mess with bottles or formula.  You just (as my husband so lovingly put it) "lob a tit out".  I get that it isn't right for everyone, but it seemed the logical choice for me.

In preparation for Linus' arrival, I started reading up on all things baby- pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding were all frequent topics of my research.  I like to collect as much information as I can to give me a solid base of knowledge.  As I read more and more about breastfeeding I found that, rather than easing my anxiety, I was adding to it.  You see, everything I read online about breastfeeding seemed to say the same thing:

"No one tells you how hard breastfeeding is.  It's SOOOOO hard.  Man it's the hardest.  You will fail or will think about quitting because it's super duper hard.  It hurts and will make you cry.  Boy howdy is it hard!"*

All the tales of woe (poor latch, insufficient milk supply, cracked/bleeding nipples, toe-curling pain) freaked me right the hell out.  Part of me started to think that breastfeeding would be a real struggle.  Another part of me (the gut instict part, that I usually end up giving more weight than any research I do) said, "This is doable. It may be hard, but you can totally do this."  I decided that people, in their attempts to warn people of the challenges of breastfeeding had skewed my reading too far to one side.  So many women had felt unprepared for it to be difficult that the internet ended up with a glut of warnings.

So in order to rectify this glut, or at least add my perspective, I'll tell you about my experience.

The first 48 hours or so were tough.  Linus was pretty sleepy and not interested in feeding on the schedule that made the midwives in the hospital happy.  We hadn't quite worked out how to latch properly and hadn't settled on the right hold to use.  I felt like my boobs were everywhere and that I needed a couple of extra hands to get him latched on and nursing right.  When I did get Linus latched, he would often fall asleep and stop suckling.

On the recovery ward, not long before discharge.

So here are my tips to get through the early hard parts:

-Don't give up!  It is hard at first.  That is true.  It is a new skill that you have to learn.  And it's not just you.  The baby is learning too!  This is one of the most helpful things that a friend said to me.  It is a two person activity and the baby has to learn how to do it too, so don't feel like you are doing a bad job if it isn't easy.  Just keep doing it and it will get better.  You'll both figure it out.

-Keep trying different things When I was in the hospital I tried every nursing position that I'd read about.  It tried the traditional crossbody hold, lying down, and the rugby hold (known as the football hold in the US).  The traditional hold has never really worked for us.  I think we've done it once in the 4 weeks I've been nursing.  Lying down has only started working in the last week or so and it's not always a sure fire thing. Now the rugby hold- the rugby hold is our jam!  It's the way to go for us and I'd heard that it was a good option for the *ahem* amply bosomed.  That said, it didn't work great at first.  Nothing did, but... *see above*  

-Improvise  When Linus was new and very sleepy I found that I had to work hard to keep him eating.  I'd read to tickle his feet, rub his back or make circles on his cheeks to stimulate him.  There was no way I could do that in the beginning.  I barely had enough hands to wrangle my boobs and the baby.  I found two alternate things that worked:  blowing on his face and squeezing him gently like a bagpipe with my elbow while he was in the rugby/football hold.  Now I can feed him with just one hand and he stays awake much better, but don't be afraid to try different things.  Don't get too caught up in how you're *supposed* to do things.  (Not a bad life philosophy in my opinion!)

Mid-feed

-Try not to get too uptight about timing  Now this is an area where others might not agree, but I generally let Linus eat when he wants to eat and sleep when he wants to eat.  Now that he's 4 weeks old, I'm starting to think about a schedule, but in the early days I think it's best to just go with the flow.  The midwives in the hospital were stressing me out with their insistence that Linus needed to nurse after a certain number of hours had passed.  He was fine.  Trying to wake him up to make him eat was pretty futile.  Once we were discharged and left to our own devices things go MUCH better and less stressful.  We've found our own rhythm and Linus is gaining weight like a champ.

-Relax!  I think this applies to parenting (and- well- life) in general.  Babies pick up on tension and parental stress.  If you are uptight about nursing it only makes it harder.  Once we left the hospital and the external stressors of the observing midwives (who were only doing their jobs and assuredly meant well) were gone, we were golden.  Towards the end of our stay at the hospital I'd been told that I needed a midwife to observe me with Linus appropriately latched on before I could be discharged.  As the clock ticked on, my desperation to go home did not make this feat any easier to accomplish.  I've been lucky that I've been able to maintain my breastfeeding zen thus far.  I haven't cried or gotten worked up about it and I think that's a big reason we're doing well so far.

-Don't get complacent  After a week and a half or so of good nursing I started to feel like we had it down and were totally in the clear.  Then Linus started doing a weird tongue thing that led to raw nipples.  I needed to keep paying attention to his latch and not assume he'd get it right every time.  Then today, Linus took an extraordinarily long morning nap.  Then we went out to run some errands.  Every time we've gone out and about Linus has slept the whole time.  I think he finds the movement of the car and, when we get where we're going, his stroller comforting.  By the time we got home I was about to burst.  I soaked through breast pads, my nursing tank top and and overshirt.  It was a mess.  And my pump was disassembled and in the dishwasher.  I tried to feed him, but was so engorged that he couldn't latch on.  I handed a screaming baby over to Ross and quickly washed the pump by hand and pumped enough that Linus could latch.  Whew!  Crisis averted, but barely.  I should have been more on top of the pump being clean and the timing of feedings for my own sake.

-Let your partner help  Just because you're breastfeeding doesn't mean that your partner can't be involved.  Ross helped with an extra hand in the early unwieldy days.  He's comforted Linus while I've gotten settled and recently has gotten to feed him bottles of milk that I expressed.  It's easy for the guy to feel left out because breastfeeding is the one thing they really can't do, but that doesn't mean that they don't have a role to play- even if it's just emotional or moral support.

Ross giving Linus his first bottle

So, if you want to make breastfeeding work have confidence that you can do it!  It's not super-easy, but it's also not the hardest thing ever.  I think approaching it with a positive attitude makes a big difference.  I've even managed to nurse in public twice now- once in the cafe at the John Rylands Library and once in a restaurant.  I used a pashmina scarf (no fancy, expensive nursing covers required) to cover myself and didn't get any dirty looks or grief from anyone.  I don't think most people knew anything was even going on.  

Those are my tips, what are yours?

Was breastfeeding easier or harder than you expected?

*I'm paraphrasing and using slight exaggeration for comedic effect, but this was the general gist of what I read.

"Down There"

During my pregnancy, I noticed that women in the UK seem to be much more uncomfortable with the idea of pelvic exams than Americans.  I mean, not that anyone really likes a pelvic... but Americans have them annually in most cases.  Here in England, pap smears are only every 3 years.  During my pregnancy, I never once had to take my pants off-  until my water broke.  Some of the women in my aqua aerobics class were expressing concern about having to have a pelvic when they went into labor.  This struck me as funny.  I mean, they know that having a baby means pushing a person out of their vagina, right?  It's a little late to be precious about it in my opinion...

But, during my labor experience, I found that this attitude definitely continued.  By the time I was ready to get going in the delivery room (full TMI birth story to come), I wasn't too concerned about my modesty.  I mean I was getting ready to squeeze a child out in front of these midwives.  They were going to see stuff eventually.  They've seen lots of other's people's goodies before and they'll see plenty more to come.  The midwives were very nice, but seemed to think I was a modest flower.  Maybe that's part of their training, and I'm sure many women appreciate that approach.  I simply found it funny!  

After I'd given birth and was ready to take a shower, the midwife asked if I had a robe or something that I wanted.  I guess she thought I'd want to cover up to walk the 10 feet to the bathroom in front of my husband.  I was fine doing it naked.  He's seen it before.  In fact, he just watched me push our baby out of it.

After I moved to the post natal ward, the midwives made the rounds checking on us.  My room on the ward consisted of 4 bays separated by curtains, so there was some privacy, but you could hear everything going on around.  As my stay continued, I noticed that the midwives continued with their modest approach.  I heard women asked if everything was ok "down there"- accompanied by a vague hand gesture, raised eyebrows, and hushed tone.  Why are these medical professionals unable to say the word "vagina"?  

When we were being discharged, a midwife was going through all the official talking points.  My favorite one included that the post-birth period is a highly fertile one.  She advised us to be careful if we were "feeling romantic" and to use birth control.  Ross and I found this hilarious.  (Aside from the exceedingly humorous notion of being in any mood to have sex immediately after getting home!)

Ross declared that if he were a midwife, he'd have fun using a different euphemism every time.  And so, we've been on a euphemism kick.  Ross has been asking me about my "down there" in various ways.  So far, we've had my "attached veranda", "underwear filler", "family vault", "lady town" and many others.

Do you prefer when medical professionals use technical words or euphemism?  

Bonus points for best "down there" euphemism!

I was going to post something today...

but....

You guys!  I started reading HypnoBirthing:  The Mongan Method.

available from Amazon

I told you we ordered it... well it came today and it's totally fascinating!!  I just finished reading the section on why labour came to be seen as a scary/painful thing and it makes so much sense.  

So far, I'm seriously drinking the Koolaid.  I'll keep you posted.

Pain Relief Options- The Natural Way

I already walked y'all through the options for medical pain relief available to a woman giving birth in the UK.  In today's post, I thought I'd let you know about the natural methods that are around, and which ones I'm hoping to use.

1.  Birth pool-  A deep tub of water that the labouring mother can get in.

Giant Bath Tub!

    Women are able to either just labour in the birth pool, or even stay in for the birth itself.  This method is supposedly available in the hospital, though they seem less open to using them and I think they are the blow-up style.  In the Birth Centre, their use seems to be very encouraged and two of the four rooms have big fancy tubs like the one pictured above.  (At least one of those rooms also has a twinkly starlight ceiling like the one we had at our reception venue!)  If your home can handle a birth pool, they will deliver one to your residence is you are having a home birth.  The water is kept at body temperature and it is supposed to be really relaxing to be submerged in the water.
   I'm not into the idea of actually giving birth in the tub, but I'm all for labouring in it!  I was joking (mostly) with a friend that I'll kick someone out of a room to get the fancy birth suite with the giant tub and sparkly ceiling.  I think it will be really helpful to maintain my zen.

2.  Massage- rubbing of the muscles by birth partner or midwife

Ease the tension

     Massage can be done with hands, tennis balls, and other implements.  I even read somewhere about using a rolling pin or a frozen water bottle.  I've heard that the helpfulness of massage varies through out labour- sometimes I might not want to be touched at all and others I might want to be practically pummelled.  

     I am slightly worried about Ross being able to keep up a level of pressure that I find helpful if I get to the "pummelling" stage, but I hear the midwives will step in and help with this as well.  I anticipate this method being very helpful to me as I LOVE being rubbed.  Ross is actually really good at finding pressure points and rubbing in little soothing ways.

3.  TENS Machine- Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation sends and electrical current into your back via wires and pads.

shocking!

     You can purchase a TENS machine from any number of places, including Boots and Amazon, and use it in any of the settings.  They are supposed to be most helpful during the first stage of labour.  They are adjustable to deliver different levels of current, depending on your desires.

     I don't really have any desire to purchase one of these, mostly because they aren't supposed to be very helpful after the earlier stages.  Frankly, I'm not overly concerned about earlier on and don't want to spend money on something that won't be useful when it gets really hard.

4.  Aromatherapy- the use of essential oils/scents to calm the mother

Smells good!

     Did you know that some NHS hospitals actually offer professional aromatherapy services to labouring women?  Ours isn't one of them, so if we want aromatherapy it's up to us to provide it.  I figure having some essential oils, such as lavender, jasmine, neroli, and rose, on hand can't hurt.  (Bonus- Lavender is also supposed to be great for healing scar tissue... so it could come in handy after the birth)

5.  Hypnobirthing-  The use of hypnosis during childbirth.

Get in the zone.

     This method can be used in any setting by a mother who has done her homework.  Hypnobirthing should be practised in the final week of pregnancy.  There are various methods and schools of hypnobirthing and parents can educate themselves either through the use of books with CDs or by taking workshops.  The theory of hynobirthing seems to be of helping the mom zone out of (or perhaps into) her body during labor.  By getting your self-hypnosis on in a relaxed state, the anxiety and pain of labour are supposed to be made much more manageable.  There's a heavy focus on breathing and visualization.

     I'm totally intrigued by this and have heard great things.  Our midwives said mothers who have used this method seem to have really nice labours.  Ross and I have ordered our book and CD, so I'll let you know how it goes!

There are a handful of other techniques such as high-pressure water flow (like under a shower), heat packs, acupuncture, and changing positions (I'll probably cover this after I've been to the Active Birthing class).  

What non-medical interventions did you find helpful when giving birth?

Do you plan to go all wacky and hippy when you have a baby, like I apparently am?

Pain Relief Options

Last night, Ross and I attended our second birth preparation class and it was SOOO much better than the first.  Hooray!  Our midwife, Mandy, was there to help out (which was a factor in the improvement, but not the only reason).  The midwife who led last week was still in charge, but seemed more relaxed and confident.  There was also a LOT more content covered and we learned several useful pieces of information.

The topics we covered were pain relief options, final stages of labor, and after care.  I figured I'd break it up into a couple of posts because there is so much to tell you.  Here are the pain relief options available to women giving birth in the UK.  (I'm going to talk a big game about my ideals and desires for a natural birth, which may come back to bite me later... so enjoy!)

Pain Relief Options:
1.  Entonox (Gas & Air)- a mix of 50% nitrous oxide and 50% oxygen

Gas and Air

    This method of pain relief is available in all settings (home birth- they'll deliver canisters to your home!, Birth Centre, or Hospital).  Of the 4 midwives I've spoken to about it 3 were BIG fans.  The valve on the mouthpiece (pictured above) is 2-way, so you can breath in and out normally while it's in your mouth.  The midwives who were fans said that it was great to regulate breathing and calm down mothers who were freaking out.  It's completely controlled by the mother and so many women like it.
     For maximum benefit, the gas should be inhaled at the start of the contraction so that it's reached full effectiveness by the time the contraction peaks.  Apparently, some women feel nauseous or disoriented when they use this, but the good news is that it doesn't stay in your system long, so if you do feel ill you can just stop using it.
     They like to say that this method of relief doesn't affect the baby, but from what I've read it does cross the placenta- it just doesn't stay around long, so I guess they don't worry about it...  (One person in the class even tried to list "Gas & Air" under the "Natural Methods" heading of pain relief options.)  Ross found online that it can also deplete your B12, but the midwives poo-pooed that and said it would take prolonged exposure for that to be an issue.  It can also dry out your lips, mouth and throat.
   Personally, I'd rather not use this.  I'm not ruling it out completely, but it seems the biggest benefit is to calm the laboring woman down, rather than actually relieve pain.  It's my feeling that I shouldn't need meds to manage my fear/anxiety.  I should be able to stay calm through other methods.  (But I make no promises or guarantees and reserve the right to change my mind once I'm actually in pain!)

2.  Pethidine/Diamorphine-  an injection, delivered into the hip/butt of one of these two opioid drugs

The Shot

    This method of pain relief is available in both the Birth Centre and Hospital settings, as it can be administered by a midwife.  The midwives seemed to be doing that thing where they had to tell you about all the options, but weren't really fans of this one.  They didn't say anything specific, but Ross and I both got that feeling.  Women can get this shot multiple times, but the first 2 don't need a prescription so it's harder to get 3 or more.  The midwives did say that most women only need one shot, so that isn't too much of an issue.

    Pethidine isn't used as frequently any more because it seemed to affect the babies more and could make women feel ill.  (In fact, it's automatically mixed with an anti-emetic for injection because of this.)  Diamorphine does still cross the placenta, but they said it doesn't seem to make the baby as sluggish.  

    This options makes me nervous because it is an opioid- which seems fairly hard core.  The fact that it would be in our baby's system is an even bigger deterrent for me.  Ross has had some fairly extreme reactions to medications in his past, so the idea that baby might genetically be pre-disposed to react makes me VERY uncomfortable.  For some reason, I feel like this is the method I'm least likely to use.

3.  Epidural- drugs delivered via a catheter into the spine

Epidural

    This method is only available in the Hospital setting and must be delivered by an anaesthetist.  The midwives said that at North Manchester General (where I would be) only has registrar level anaesthetists give these.  I still don't really understand the British levels-of-doctors system, but a Registrar is a senior doctor.  The midwives said that a good epidural should stop the pain, but leave you able to feel the contractions and have some lower half mobility.  There is a port where they can "top up" the epidural as time goes on.

    The epidural does cross the placenta to the baby, but there are mixed reports on what effect this has on the baby.  The midwives said that they'd have a hard time discouraging a woman from an epidural if she was having a really long, arduous labor or had to be induced with pitocin.  

     I'm really hoping to avoid an epidural, but- never say never!

This has gotten really long, so I'll leave it there.  Next time, I'll cover all those "Natural Methods"- especially the ones that I'm hoping to use to avoid all the stuff I talked about above.

Were any of those news to you?  (They were to me!)

What kind of pain relief did you go for?

Curiosity killed the cat...

My last midwife appointment was quick as could be.  We were in and out fairly quickly, but unfortunately it wasn't completely straight-forward.

The first problem was that I had forgotten to collect my urine sample that morning, so I was desperately chugging down water on the way to the appointment and ended up filling my syringe o' urine in the restroom at the centre.  Fun!

After that excitement, Mandy took my blood pressure and proclaimed it "beautiful".  Then we had another first- measuring my bump.  It plotted exactly on the projected line for my growth and was deemed "perfect".  Then it was doppler time.  Mandy quickly found our baby's heartbeat.  She smiled and said he was lying transverse across my abdomen "like he was in a hammock".

They actually make baby hammocks.

Who knew?!

This description definitely jived with my experience of kicking on the mid to upper left side of my belly.  The heartbeat sounded great and Mandy said there was still plenty of time for the baby to get in head-down position.  She said he'd move around into all sorts of positions between now and D Day.  

Then, as we were wrapping things up, I asked a question.  I'd read on plenty of blogs (written by Americans) about the standard test for gestational diabetes.  I figured it wasn't the norm in the UK.  I'd asked Ross and he didn't know, but thought it wasn't given to every woman.  So I asked Mandy about it.  She said they only give it to women who are considered "high risk" for GD, dismissing my need for one.  That includes Asian women (what Americans would call Indian) and women with a BMI above 35.  At this point, she paused, rifled through my paperwork and said "Wait... what was your initial BMI?" with slightly nervous eyes.  Needless to say, my BMI was a bit above that when I got pregnant... She really doesn't like to think I'm as heavy as I am!  I guess that's a compliment...  

She went into a slight, but well-controlled panic and got on the phone to get me an appointment ASAP.  After getting off the phone, Mandy said that it had been an oversight and that I need to be seen by week 32.  She also said that I wouldn't have GD (fingers crossed!) so not to worry.  I got a letter notifying me that I'd be having my Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) at the hospital where I'd had my scans on January 11th.  I'll still be just in my 32nd week.  Whew!  

So I will be participating in the right of passage of drinking a sickly sweet sugary drink after all...  I sort of  wish I'd just kept my mouth shut and gotten to skip it.

On a final note, we start our Antenatal Classes on the 12th.  Ross has informed me that he's greatly looking forward to it.  Now before you "Awwww" all over yourselves, let me tell you that it's because he's planning to ask as many stupid questions as possible.  He's determined to ask at least one question that has never been asked before.... Lord help me.

What did you think of the GTT?

Does your SO take joy in being embarrassing?

The 2nd most influential factor in getting pregnant

The number one thing that helped me get pregnant was having sex.  Duh.

But besides that, I did something that I truly believe helped me conceive.
I am not normally into new agey or non-traditional treatments for things.  In fact, I don't often go in for treatments full stop.  I would probably put myself in the "suck it up and get on with it" camp when it comes to most things.  Now my husband is not a fan of medications and doctors in general.  He prefers to find natural treatments for ailments.  After I moved to England, I was complaining of my usual little aches and pains and my husband suggested that I try something that he'd used with good success.  My pains were mostly old ballet injuries to my joints which caused them to ache and swell from time to time, as well as a general extremely tight muscles in my shoulders.

Early dancing days

And so I went to see a Bowen Therapist for the first time.  The Bowen Technique has to do with small movements or adjustments performed on muscle groups.  Conceptually, the body wants to be healthy and function properly, but has gotten stuck in a bad habit.  The theory is that the movements "reset" the body, allowing it to heal itself.  (That's the short version, as interpreted by me.)

Ann, the practitioner, commented that I was carrying a lot of tension and mentioned the connection between being physical uptight and being uptight as a personality trait.  I laughed and said, "I don't really think of my self as a tense person consitutionally."  She basically said, "You can't argue with these shoulders.  You ARE uptight."

I had to admit she was right.  After seeing Ann, I started to notice how often I was tensing my muscles (i.e.  standing with my butt cheeks totally flexed, clenching my jaw, etc).  I started making an effort to force myself to relax.  And boy was it an effort!  But as time went on, it got easier and I noticed that I wasn't carrying as much tension.

At a second visit to see Ann, I mentioned that I was very prone to UTIs.  I would get them really easily, and had even had a really bad one that resulted in me going into sepsis.  Yikes!  She did something to my abdomen.  I'm still not sure what it was.  It wasn't really part of the Bowen therapy.  She described it as an "add on treatment" that she offers sometimes.  I think she said she was removing energy blockages.  **Cue my eye roll**  She pressed rhythmically on areas of my lower stomach (forcefully, but not painfully) and made whooshing noises.  I was sceptical to say the least.

A few days later, the area she'd worked on started coming up in dark purple bruises that lasted a couple of weeks.  These were some serious bruises.  And my UTIs immediately got better- in fact, I haven't had a hint of one since then.  My next cycle was totally wonky and made me think I was pregnant and then crazy.  One more treatment after that (which included removing more energy blocks from my abdomen) and I was pregnant.

Coincidence?  Possibly.  But I'm not convinced.  It makes sense to me that if things (energy/chi/whatever) weren't flowing right in an area related to baby making, that it would impact my ability to conceive.  Like I said, I have no proof that this new agey "energy work" helped me get pregnant, but I still believe that it is a key factor.

Did you try anything unorthodox to get pregnant?
Or did you maybe stumble upon something that you didn't think was related to your fertility that ended up having an impact?

Funny things Ross Says

Yesterday morning I woke up with the squeakiest remnant of a voice ever.
I'd had a slightly sore throat the day before, but despite the fact that I felt fine all day yesterday I sounded pitiful.
Today it's a bit better, but still a little high pitched.

Ross suggested that there might be a cause.  What was it, you ask?
"Maybe your accent is breaking."
Yep.  Perhaps that's how it works.  You move to a new country and then suddenly after you hit a certain stage, funny things start happening to your body.  Your voice gets squeaky for a while until one day it settles into a new and lovely accent.  I'm hoping it's not a Salford (basically a suburb of Manchester) accent.

I have a more likely theory:

Cottonwood

I thought I'd left my arch nemesis and biggest allergy behind when I left Texas.  Nope.  The sky outside our window yesterday was thick with this white fluff of doom.  It looked like it was snowing!  Ross had never heard of something called cottonwood, but didn't know what it was called here.  A little google search tells me that it is probably called Black Poplar here.

Other expats out there- is there anything you thought you were leaving behind only to find it unexpectedly in your new country?