This post is part of the TMI series. If you don't want to read about personal stuff like makin' a baby, you might want to skip these. Most of these posts will be posted well after they are written. I don't mind sharing with y'all, but I gotta keep some things a bit private...
written Monday, April 25, 2011
So my period is due today.
At least according to the fertility tracker app on my phone.
We've been trying since January. Trying isn't the right word though. Trying implies more effort than we are giving it. We are letting nature take it's course. We figured we're not in a rush and figure we'll just see what happens. We aren't making any effort to time when we get friendly. I'm not taking my temperature or any of that. I'm 32, so I've got a little time before we need to get all serious about this.
I don't feel pregnant. As I told Ross, I'm expecting my period to start any minute now. But...
But... What if this is the month. I'm super-excited to start a family with Ross. I feel like we're going to be awesome parents. Now that we're "trying" (or whatever you call it), I feel like I'm attentive to things that I never noticed before. All these "symptoms" that you start noticing... and how irritating is it that PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are so similar. I took a 4.5 hour nap today. Is that a symptom? Or was I just tired? I've been really stuffy and lost my voice. I've been reading lots of blogs about pregnancy and many of them mention stuffiness as a symptom... but it's more than likely my allergies from all this darn cottonwood.
Argh... tick tock tick tock.... I'm waiting...
written Tuesday, April 27th, 2011
Still no news... strangely, the more time that passes, the more convinced I am that I am not pregnant. Though that sounds counter-intuitive I can almost feel my period coming. I wouldn't feel like that if I was pregnant, right? And wasn't my period a day or so later than the stupid calendar app said it should be last month? Yeah... it was because I bought a pregnancy test. I decided that if it hadn't started by the next morning, I'd do a test. And I never needed to open the box. So I've got a test... I like to succeed though, so I don't really want to take a test that I don't think I'll pass. Hey- I never said I followed logic.
written Friday, April 28th, 2011
So yeah... I'm now 4 days late. It seems a LOT longer than that. We just watched the Royal Wedding and it was lovely. I'm prepared to take a pregnancy test this evening. I'm not sure how I feel... 20% hopeful, 20% terrified, 10% excited, 10% nervous, 40% numb? That sounds about right.
and at 11:45PM
So I just took a pregnancy test. I've never done that before. The directions said that you are recommended to urinate in a clean, dry glass container. I didn't fancy peeing in one of our drinking glasses, so I went with the alternate directions of just holding it in my urine stream. We're anxiously waiting. We've got a control line, but no 2nd line. It's definitely been over 3 minutes... no line.
Well where the hell is my period then!?
Ugh. The waiting continues. I told Ross that, on the one hand, I sort of feel vindicated because I really don't think I'm pregnant. But on the other hand- where the hell is my period? :)
Ross says, "It's not that unusual is it?"
I said, "I can't remember a time I was 4 days late. "
He says, ever helpfully, "It's probably your age."*
I said, "You're right. It must be menopause."
He says, "I better start looking for a younger wife."*
written Sunday May 1, 2011
After the longest 6 days of my life, my period finally started.
Ah well. I'm not surprised because even though it was a long wait I was truly convinced that I wasn't pregnant. I guess, on reflection, I've only really tracked my period the last few months. It never really mattered before. Either I was on birth control or it was coming... Maybe I've got a funky cycle every few months or something...
The bright side is that we are now officially in the clear for a family cruise that's being planned for my Grandmother's 85th birthday. We'd said we were in, but if I'd gotten pregnant before now, I would have been too far along to be allowed on the ship.
written Monday May 2, 2011
So just a little informative coda. When I was in the height of the waiting game I emailed my friend C for advice/insight on the situation. She gave me just the reassurance and support I was looking for. She offered this tidbit after my period finally showed up- apparently if you are really stressed out or sick just before you are supposed to ovulate, the process gets put on hold. This means you ovulate late and then your period shows up late. Ah ha! I had a major cold earlier this month. I love having an explanation for things!
*Ross is not a jerk. 1. He makes inappropriate jokes when things get to heavy. It's a coping mechanism. 2. We have a running joke about my age and pregnancy because my G'ma (who is awesome and I love dearly) told my younger cousin that she and her husband were the only hope for great-grandchildren because Ross and I are "too old".