Friday, 13 May 2011

Drive me crazy

NOTE FROM MEG:  Hooray! My crazies are back!  Thank you blogger gods for restoring my post unto my blog.  Amen.

So do you guys have things that drive you crazy?
Like way more crazy than they should?
I mean they're annoying alright, but do they rile you up to a degree that is completely out of proportion to the actual annoyance that is legitimately caused by the thing?

This picture of me trying on a cowboy hat is entirely unrelated to the content of this post.
Except that it illustrates my crazy eyes.  Crazy I tells ya!

I've got a few of those and I'd like to share one of them with you today.

Ross and I sometimes have lunch in the shopping center near our warehouse.  There is a Costa Coffee and recently (VERY exciting) a Starbucks opened inside the Next.  How weird is it that they put at Starbucks inside a clothing store?  Especially considering that there are several empty store fronts in the center.  Not the point, but still... Ok, so the point...

I like a panini.  They always seem more satisfying to me than a cold sandwich.  But both Costa and Starbucks serve their paninis sort of like this:

Notice anything about that picture?  Can you identify the thing that makes my eye twitch and my lips purse?
No?!  It should be obvious.  It's soooo flagrant and irritating!  (or I'm just a special kind of crazy, which I like to think is endearing...)

It's the napkin.  It's under the sandwich.  UNDER!  What the heck, man!  This appears to be a national obsession.  Did they do this in America too?  It's possible I didn't notice because I never really ate sandwiches at coffee shops there.

"So what," you say.  "So the napkin is underneath?  What's the big deal?"
I'll tell you what the big deal is.  It's a panini, right?  Which means it's hot, right?  Probably with cheese, right?  Ahhhh... yes.  Now you're catching on.  (I hope.)

So there's a hot melty sandwich sitting on top of a flimsy paper napkin... Which means that the sandwich makes a warm, slightly oily spot on the napkin and the cheese melts onto it.  Argh!  
This means that my sandwich has little bits of napkin paper stuck to it.  If you're lucky, the cheese is hot enough that the paper actually starts disintegrating into the cheese before you've had a chance to pick it off.  

Is the napkin meant to be decorative?  It's just a crappy paper napkin...
Is it meant to be functional?  The napkin is rendered useless because it's falling apart and covered in cheese and oil.  

It's simultaneously pointless and highly irritating.  I think the pointlessness contributes to the irritatingness (sure, that's a word) to make it even more baffling.  So every time I get a sandwich Ross gets to chuckle at my crazy as I pick bits of napkin out of my sandwich and crazily denounce this practice for the hundredth time.  

I've thought about asking the employees why they insist on torturing me in this manner, but I think that might be exposing my crazy to a wider audience than I'm comfortable with.

What little things drive you disproportionately crazy?


  1. I'm with you on the napkin thing. So glad I found your blog! Can't wait to read more!!

  2. Thanks Kimberly! It's good to know I'm not totally alone in my craziness. Seriously! Why would you put a napkin under a hot cheesy sandwich! ARAHGGH@jijsklaj1joaSD1! I'm ok... Also- welcome to Ameringlish!